Artistic Stability

Been re-reading "Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer within" by Natalie Goldberg. The following is from the "Artistic Stability" chapter....

"I feel good because I don't care that she sees how I really am. I'm glad. I want someone to know me. We walk through so many myths of each other and ourselves; we are so thankful when someone sees us for who we are and accepts us."

(with a wink to Lori Gregory who says, "I support that." )

"We have to look at our own inertia, insecurities, self-hate, fear that, in truth, we have nothing valuable to say."

"If you are not afraid of the voices inside you, you will not fear the critics outside you. Besides, those voices are merely guardians and demons protecting the real treasure, the first thoughts of the mind."

"Yet it is good to know about our terrible selves, not laud or criticize them, just acknowledge them. Then, out of this knowledge, we are better equipped to make a choice for beauty, kind consideration, and clear truth."

So here's some acknowledgement of truth from the crap poetry/prose I wrote in 1993/1994. They are probably best read beginning with Depeche Mode through Tori Amos. And the journal smells like patchouli. Put on some Chuck Taylors if you have some lying around.

"My second grade teacher didn't think I was 'cute' or 'adorable,' but I read more books a week than the third graders."-1993

"When I saw her on Memorial Day, I remember looking at her and thinking she was looking older. And I wondered what would happen if she were gone. She died three days later, and I don't even remember the rest of that week."-Christmas 1993

"Today the teacher gave your textbook to the new kid. (He also took your seat.) I wondered who took his textbook at his old school."-Spring 1994

"Bye now. It's time for me to go. I've grown up now. Did you not know? Where have you been? It's that trance you've been in, the glass that's your friend and the one that took (you) away."-Spring 1994

"I wish I could see me the way you see me."-April 1994

"When we don't attack the moments, they will attack us."-April 1994

"Tomorrow is my last day of high school."-May 1994

"You need us to smile, and we need you to live. And we can live without smiling."-July 1994

"There are better things to do than want for your attention."-July 1994

"I hate it when I'm going somewhere, making good time, and I get caught by a train because I can never tell when one will come."-March 1995 (Pretty sure that's a Tupelo Crosstown)

There. I did it :)Too bad I don't have that copy of "Jumprope Julie" I wrote in second grade.